


The Truth

by writergirl659



Category: 36 Questions the musical podcast
Genre: F/M, Fluff, I wanted some closure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-01-29 11:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12630108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writergirl659/pseuds/writergirl659
Summary: This is a story following the ending of the 36 Questions musical podcast. I needed some closure, so I wrote this!





	1. Chapter 1

“The truth is, Cooper, the truth is hard to explain. It can change based on what a person sees in their world. For an example, Natalie’s world is different than mine, which makes her truth different than mine. She may know more about things than me, and I, her.” Jase says, looking Cooper in the eye. “Now, Natalie and I are almost done here, so how about you play two more levels of your game and then we’ll go home. How does that sound?”

Cooper seemed content with that answer, so Natalie says, “And so we’ll begin. A timer has been set on my phone. Ready, set go.” Natalie clicks start, and they begin to stare into each other’s eyes.

_What is she thinking? Where does she live? What does she do for a living? Has she met up with her parents? Does she miss this? Does she miss us?_ Jase’s thoughts swirl in his mind. After what seems like a second, the timer goes off. There is something Jase wants to do, but knows what Cooper might think. Instead, he inhales and leans back in his chair.

“There is something else. Something that the original writers of the article posted years later. After four minutes, if both parties agree, they can-” Natalie looks over at Cooper, “K-i-s-s. But, considering the present company, I think that must be saved for a different day.”

“A different day? You’re saying you want to meet up again?” Jase asks, surprised that she even offered.

Natalie chuckles. “Yes, because after so many years of waiting, Jase Connelly wants to actually talk to me!”

“Daddy can we go?” Cooper asks, tugging on Jase’s sleeve. “I’m bored and I want to go home and play!”

“Just a minute Coop. I will say goodbye and then we will go.” Jase says. “Here, you should have this. It’s yours, and you should probably take a listen back. You have my email in case you want to contact me. I hope it will be sooner rather than later.” Jase hands Natalie the iPhone and stands up. Natalie does the same and Jase reaches over to hug her. Natalie hesitates, before leaning into him. He breathes in, kisses her on her forehead, and sighs before letting her go. He holds Coop’s hand and turns to go.

“I’ll be in touch. Thanks. For finding me and everything.” Natalie says, tucking the phone into her purse. 

 

As Natalie enters her car, she contemplates listening to the tapes, but decided that it’s better to drive safely than only be paying attention to the phone. Unfortunately it didn’t end up working like that, because all she could think about on the way home was what she would find on the record. Since almost ten years have passed, she hardly remembers what could be on the record. How long is it? Did Jase add anymore after he drove off? How long is the record? Despite what Jase may think, she never listened back to the record, and she didn’t think she ever would.

At first, Natalie created the record so she could remember the character she was playing, but after a week or so, Judith became Natalie, and didn’t have to think about her new life anymore. With Jase it was so easy. She didn’t have to worry about her past, and she didn’t have to explain anything to him. He just got her, and Natalie would always wonder what would happen if she hadn’t decided to be Natalie that day. 

Natalie sits in silence for the four hours or so it took to listen to the entire record. So many memories have been saved, and even though their love story ended tragically, Natalie is happy she caught some of it on tape. Even though most of it was in the last chapter. The subtext is clear: Natalie was trying so hard to get Jase back that he didn’t listen. Back then she thought it was so obvious that he should take her back because she was still the same person, but Jase did not understand. She was shoving so much in his face and didn’t let him process. At least, after the two weeks of being alone in his mom’s house. Now on the other end, Natalie thinks she would side with Jase. At least for a breather, but not for a divorce.

The divorce was relatively painless. At least, the process. They didn’t see or talk to each other directly, just split everything down the middle, fair and square. Natalie felt like she was ripped in two. Jase was the reason why all those years ago she decided to live instead of dreaming about death. He brought her up and made her whole, so when he was out of her life for good, Natalie didn’t know what to do with herself. First, she moved to Dallas. She got a job managing various stores around the state, so she frequently visited Austen. Natalie also changed her middle name to Natalie. She was now Judith to her new friends, but she wanted to keep her life with Jase. He changed her life, and now she is still living Natalie’s life, so she wanted to keep the name. 

She definitely felt the loss of Jase at times. Natalie had made new friends which her coworkers and neighbors but sometimes she missed Jase and wanted to call him. She had to get a new phone after she left her old one in his mailbox. It worked wonders because not only could she start on a new slate, but she could call Jase and hear his answering machine voice without the phone number recognition. She didn’t call often, just three times over the years, to hear his voice during the hard times. All three had to do wither her parents, two highly selfish people who did’t care for others, especially Judith. She knows they will be brought up with Jase in their next meeting, so she doesn’t dare to think of them now.

Both Jase and Natalie are counting down the days until they could see each other again. Natalie emailed and let Jase know she’d be in town again two weeks from their previous meeting. She told him not to bring Coop, even though she’s fond of hum, the two had some unfinished business to take care of that would have raised too many questions from his son. To Natalie’s surprise, Jase invited her over to his house. Natalie hopes that the more intimate setting will help the two of them get to the root of their meetings faster.

Natalie gets out of her uber and walks nervously up to Jase’s quaint house. She is more nervous than she’s ever been in her life, because now she knows Jase has fully though through their whole story. She misses him, and she knows their relationship is painstakingly being put back together. Or so she desperately hopes. Her best friend lives inside of these walls, and she doesn’t want to lose him again. She rings his doorbell, and when he answers the breath she was holding came out in a huff. She forgot how handsome he is, which doesn’t help her clear minded thinking one bit.

“Come in Natalie,” Jase says, closing the door behind her as she steps in. “I decided to do something that may surprise you for our first meeting. Let’s hope we can finish these in time before your next business meeting.” He hands Natalie a piece of paper. They make their way to the kitchen table, where they sit opposite. Natalie looks at the paper and sees the familiar 36 questions. 

“You want to start over?” Natalie asks. “Remember the last time we did these? It didn’t go very well as I recall.” She skims the questions, those old memories flooding back to her.

“It’s been almost ten years Natalie. We should start over and learn more about ourselves. The first time you did these questions as Natalie. The second time was with a brand new Judith, and now, this time, will be with the real you. And I’ve changed over the years. Heck, I have probably changed more answers than you.” Jase replies, reaching for her hand. “Pretend we’re at some bar, and I’ve just met you. We’re getting drinks like we did so long ago.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next installment!

“Do you remember the rules?” Jase asks, leaning back in his chair. “We switch off asking each other questions and then stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes.” 

“Then kiss.” Natalie adds, looking pointedly at Jase. “Even though it’s not in the original instructions, that’s what I read later. Can’t forget the most important part!”

“If both parties agree. Then we can, yes.” Jase clears his throat. “Question one: Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?”

“My answer to this still hasn’t changed. It will always be you, Jase. Even after all these years. Sometimes I miss having someone that understands so much about me. You understood more about me than I think I ever will, even though you think you know nothing, you knew more than me those two years.” Natalie says, not looking Jase in the eyes. She told herself before walking in that she would be the most vulnerable to clear the air, and she’s going in head first with this question.

“You know, I think it will still be you too. There were many times during my marriage with Lisa that I wanted to talk to you. Like when I found out when we were having a son, I was so happy. There were times when I knew I couldn’t tell Lisa what was on my mind, and I wanted you to be there to rant to. Plus, I haven’t seen you in what feels like a century, and you were my best friend. That’s a long time with no best friend.” Jase says, trying to catch Natalie’s gaze. She feels him looking at her, and quickly asks the next question.

“Would you be famous? In what way?” She asks, finally looking up at Jase.

Jase sighs. “Now that I have Coop, I don’t want to be famous. Or at least, not recognizably so. Maybe like a famous author, but I don’t want to be able to walk on the street with people recognizing me. I don’t want to cause a scene anymore.” 

“Like before, I still don’t want to be famous. Namely because my parents would find out where I live and come and find me. Past tense.” 

“What do you mean, ‘past tense’? Are your parents dead?” Jase asks, leaning forward on the table. 

“Jase that’s not a part of the question. I am sure it will come up later, as I recall you’ll be able to hear my life story a few questions down the road. Just be patient.” Natalie responds.

“Question three: Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?” Jase thinks a minute before answering. “I still don’t rehearse. Why? Because I just think that’s weird.”

“I still rehearse. I go in prepared in case the person on the other hand throws me a curveball. You can never be too prepared. Question 4: What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?”

“My perfect day would be playing with my son all day. Without him yelling or screaming. Being somewhere with family would also be nice.”

“My perfect day now consists of turning on an episode ofThe Office with a glass of wine. Going somewhere calming like the lake or there’s a pond close to where I live that I like reading at.” Natalie says, playing with her hands. She wishes she could be touching him. She wants to feel connected in more than just words, but she doesn’t want to push boundaries. 

“It better be season three!” Jase laughs. “Question 5: When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?” 

“I now sing to myself all the time now. It helps me feel less alone in my apartment. To someone else? I don’t know. Maybe a snooping neighbor.” Natalie says, putting a hand on the table. She feels like this is a first date, in sixth grade, where she is trying to signal to the boy at the movies that she’s ready for the next step. She almost feels like laughing, but the atmosphere is tense. 

“I never sing anymore, except maybe to Cooper before going to bed. I think I stopped when I left. You took that from me and I didn’t even realize it.” Jase replies, taking her hand in his. He feels a familiar shock go through his system as he rubs her hand with his thumb. Jase clears his throat before asking the next question. 

“If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?”

"Well considering I know what the body of a 30 year old looks like now, I think I would have to change my previous answer. Mind.” Natalie smiles and rests her chin in her hand.

“Agreed.” Jase laughs, clearing the tension. “Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?”

“Now all I can think about is what would happen if I died suddenly. Where I wouldn’t be able to tell those I love what I want them to know about them. I guess I should probably just tell them.” Natalie replies. 

“Now, I am afraid that I am going to die in front of Cooper. I would give anything in the world to make sure he doesn’t have to watch me die. I think that would break him.”

“Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.” Natalie says, pondering for a minute. “I think we both are happy to be here. We seem to be nervous, and I think we both feel vulnerable. At least that’s what I feel.” Natalie bites her lip and puts her hands in her lap.

“We both appear to be a little scared of what the other is going to say. We both seem a little hesitant but excited to be here. We both, I hope, wish we would have done this a long time ago.” Jase says with a twinkle in his eyes. “Okay, maybe not the last one, I have to think about that. Because then we may not have ended our relationship well, and I may not have Cooper. Whatever. I can’t think about it.” Jase huffs before moving on. “For what in your life do you feel most grateful?”

“I will always be grateful for second chances. Maybe even third chances. Especially since that’s what you’re doing right now with me.” Natalie smiles to herself. “I got a second chance on life, and if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met you. I wouldn’t be sitting here today.”

“I am most grateful for Cooper. Everyday he amazes me, and I never knew you could love someone as much as I love him. Natalie, having a child changed my life, and you should be able to know that kind of love. It’s extraordinary.” Jase looks at her with wonder.

“I’ll make sure to get to it.” Natalie laughs. “Do you have any gay friends who’d like to donate their sperm? Or do you have anyone else in mind?” Natalie jokes, watching Jase as his face turns red.

“I-I” He stammers.

“Jase, I’m kidding. Although one day I would like that. A family.” Natalie clears her throat before asking the next question. “If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?”


	3. Chapter 3

“I would ask my moms to raise me in the real world, not within a bubble. I lived in a world where being homosexual was the norm, and they never got hurt or harassed. I wish they were more honest, because now when I turn on the news, all I see is hatred and fear. I wish I knew how to fight those bastards better. For my moms, my brother, and my friends. Who knows, maybe even Cooper! What about you Natalie?”

“I wish I had parents who loved me, and not the idea of me.” Natalie states simply, playing with her hair and looking down.

“Oh God, now this one: take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible. Do you want me to go first or do you?” Jase trials off and looks at Natalie, knowing the next eight minutes will be interesting.

“Are you ready? This may take more than eight minutes.” Natalie looks at Jase. “I was born in Arizona, and had a terrible childhood. My parents were always fighting, but not about each other, about the world. They never cared about my schoolwork unless I got below an A, or did something different than their liking. I tried sports but found a passion in photography and writings I did yearbook. In college I majored in marketing, which allowed me to move around the country. I got into some bad substances, and as you may recall, I did kill myself. Once. Somehow my roommate found me in time and saved my life, which I will forever be greatful for because there are so many things and people I would have missed out on. I then moved to Austen, and met you and your friends dog that sunny afternoon. I picked up running because of the endorphins exercise gave me were as close as I could get to being high. We started our lives together, except I was Natalie. A more confident version of myself who didn’t have an ugly past. That is, until my parents found me and sent a private investigator to your door. You have to understand, they are terrible human beings. I tried my best to erase myself from their lives, but I always left footsteps left untouched. Then, when you found out that I was going to hire a lawyer to rid myself from my parents, I was broken. You found out about my name, and never forgave me. You went to your Moms’ place to get some air, and I called up your brother to ask where to find you. You didn’t tell him about us, so he eagerly gave me the address of your Moms’ cottage and I tried, and failed to get you back.” Natalie sighed and took a breather before moving on.

“Once you left again, I moved to Dallas, which is where I currently live. We got divorced, which felt like I was ripping my soul in two. I slowly made new friends and have an amazing career where I travel around the state managing various retail stores. I have few hours, but it pays well. I now write and do photography in my free time, I realized how much I missed it all of these years. I haven’t submitted anything yet, but I like capturing memories, like I did with the record all those years ago. I tried dating, but, if I am being honest, every time I tried I felt like I was cheating on you. I know it’s silly, but I couldn’t help myself. I even called your phone every couple of years, just to hear your voice. Then one day I checked my email and found a message from you. It took me a couple of days before convincing myself that you weren’t going to hurt me again. So, I let my heart open and read the email. I replied, we met, and then we kept talking. And now here I am with you.”

“What about your parents? You said “past tense” remember?” Jase carefully asks, leaning forward.

“They died five years ago. For real this time, in a car accident. My mom was driving, and she was intoxicated. This was quite a shock to me, because they never drank when I was with them. They told me it would cloud my judgement. At first, I was numb, but a year or two later, I actually was sad. I missed what I hoped my parents would become. Even though they were terrible, I guess somewhere in my heart I assumed they would get better. They kept asking for a husband and baby, so maybe it would have been different if I gave them a grandchild. Now I will never know.” Jase sits there and ponders over what Natalie just told him. He had many questions, but decided it was best to ask later.

“Well, you pretty much know my life story. I have two wonderful moms and a gay brother, I love them with my whole heart. I moved to Texas, then met you one Sunday afternoon. We got married, much to soon according to my parents, yet I hated to prove them right. I am a teacher, and I love my job. We divorced, then after a couple months I saw Lisa. We got in touch, and we eventually got married. I don’t know if you would call it love, more like mutual content-ness. Both of us felt like we were the best the other person was going to get. A couple years later we had Cooper, who changed my life. Lisa and I started becoming incompatible, and then I caught her cheating on me. After that, I couldn’t trust her and as you remember, I have trust issues. So, now I am a working single dad.” Jase looks at Natalie. They sit there a bit, thinking through each other’s lives before moving on.

“If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one ability, what would it be?” Natalie asks.  
'“I would like to be able to listen better. I noticed that a lot when listening back to the record. I was so caught up in what I wanted the outcome to be that I didn’t listen to you and your ideas. I think about that a lot now.” Jase says, twiddling his fingers.

“Well, if it makes your feel better, I would want to be able to turn back time and redo moments where I seriously messed up, and the whole setting you at your mom’s house would be one of the encounters I’d like to change.” Natalie takes his nervous hands in hers.

“Question 13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?” Jase asks.

“Do you remember my answer to this question from before?” Natalie asks, thinking back with a smile. “I wanted to know if I was good in bed, which is embarrassing. But now, I would want to know if I will be happy for the rest of my life. Or have an average feeling of happiness over my life.”

“Yes, I do remember.” Jase replies. “And in case you were wondering, I think you are the best person I’ve ever slept with, which I hope is a compliment” He smiles.

“Mine is still the same. Will the my capacity to forgive practically anything be my downfall?”

“Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?” Natalie asks.

“I’ve always wanted to quit my job and go traveling. Only thing that’s holding me back now is Cooper, but he’s one hundred percent worth it.” Jase says.

“Do you remember you said you’d want to do sexy cosplay? Does this mean you’ve done that?” Natalie laughs.

“No, my priorities have just changed.” Jase said with a sparkle in his eyes.

“There is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, and we’re doing it right now. I’ve been dreaming of getting to talk to you for so long, and now we’re here.” Natalie says. “There’s something else, but I think we’ll get to that later.” She adds as an afterthought.

“Oh Natalie, by the time we’re doing I’m going to have to ask you my own set of 36 questions based off of all these ambiguous answers you’re giving me!” Jase accuses.

“Well, that will just have to be next time. I still have to go to my business meeting you know.”

“Okay then, it’s a date.” Jase replies. “Question 15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?”

“Getting to where I am now at my job. I’ve had to break quite a lot of glass ceilings to get it.”

“Mine without a doubt is Cooper. If you couldn’t tell already, I am pretty in love with him. I still can’t believe he’s mine forever.” Jase smiles. “Even though most of the time he’s a pain in the ass.”

“What do you value most in a relationship? Can’t wait to hear this one.” Natalie asks.

“My last answer was honesty, but now I would have to say truthfulness. I have learned Honesty and truthfulness are not the same thing. Being honest means not telling lies. Being truthful means to know the full truth of a matter. It’s a lot harder, but it allows for more communication in the relationship.”

“I am going to have to say is having someone who makes your relationship their first priority over everything. And I do the same.”

“What is your most treasured memory?” Jase questions.

“Mine used to be our wedding, but the other day I was taking a walk through a forest near my apartment and I remembered how special our engagement was. Do you remember? You surprised me by sitting at that bench where I met you in the park? That was a pretty wonderful day.” Natalie replies.

“I was going to say the day we met. Funny, I walked by that bench the other day and thought the same. We’ve changed so much since then.” Jase concludes, “It changed my life forever.”

“What is your most terrible memory?” Natalie inquires, she has long since finished her drink, and is over a half hour late to her meeting, but she will risk her job to be here with Jase any day.

“When I left. When I left to pick up my moms from the airport and I left you stranded” Jase says sadly.

“I wasn’t stranded Jase, I had a car.” Natalie points out.

“I left you in the middle of our conversation. I was a coward! I abandoned all connection with you that day, and I wish it were different.”

“Well I’d have to say the same thing. Although it was pretty rough the first time around too.” Natalie adds softly.

“I’m sorry.” Jase says quietly.

“We can’t change the past, can we?” Natalie says wistfully.  
Jase looks longingly at Natalie, “If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?”

“I would probably quit my job. Even though I love it, I would rather have the days to myself and do good for others. Remember we used to spend the first weekend of every month helping someone in need? I need to stat doing that.”

“If I knew I was going to die, then I would probably say ‘I love you’ more often. I will always regret not saying it enough to those I love.” Jase says, keeping his gaze low.

“Question twenty. What does friendship mean to you?” Natalie asks Jase.

“Friendship means sharing whatever you want to a person and you know they will understand. It could be something random, something serious, or something special. That person will always be there for you, through everything.”


	4. Chapter 4

“I think for me, friendship is having someone who will sit in silence with you and not ask any questions. Someone you could have silent conversations through your eyes with. Friendship is having someone to tell anything to.” Natalie adds.

“What roles do love and affection play in your life?” Jase asks Natalie.

“If a stranger asked me last month this question, I would probably say that it doesn’t, but right now, I am getting mixed feelings. What does someone call it when you’re meeting up with your ex husband for the first time in years? Does love and affection have to do with it?” Natalie thinks.

“Well, I love Cooper, but when it comes to affection, I haven’t felt that in a long time. I agree with you on the ex-wife/husband part. What would one call that?” Jason asks. 

“I guess you could call it mixed feelings” Natalie replies. “Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.” She reads from the paper.

“I like how you had the guts to ask me to come and talk to you, after all these years.”

“I like the way you treat Cooper, I’ve always known you’d be a good father.” Natalie responds.

“I have always admired how you look at the world. Silently judging, just to see how you could make it better.”

“I like that you care.”

“I like that you’re so strong headed.” Jase says. 

“I like your laugh. I forgot how much I missed it. Especially over the silly things like the Sunday cartoons.”

“You’re mysterious, and complicated but you like to forgive, which can throw me off.”

“You forgive so much, one day it may kill you.” Natalie replies.

“I like that you, after all these years, can still look at me without hatred in your eyes.” Jase says softly.

“I think you’re very kind, even though you have strong convictions.”

“Okay, question number twenty three: How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?” Jase asks.

“My family is about as close as the north pole is to the south. They are as warm as those places too. My childhood was about as happy as a little kid after he gets his halloween candy stolen from him. Which, side note, actually happened to me quite a bit growing up. I think my parents didn’t want me to rot my teeth.” Natalie responds with conviction.

“Thankfully, my childhood was pretty much as good as it could get. I have two loving moms, and an amazing brother. I wish I could see them all more often though, I miss them a lot. Especially now having Cooper and being on my own.” Jase says, giving Natalie a small smile.

“How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?” Natalie asks while suppressing a laugh. 

“Well, I love my moms as you know, so I don’t think I need to go into much detail there.” Jase replies.

“I, on the other hand, have had zero relationship with my mother, except for when she found me about two years after we split. That was interesting. Lets just say, it was worse than the reality shows where the mom finds out her teenage daughter lost her virginity and now is pregnant. It was terrible. But, now that she’s dead, sometimes I think about why she did what she did to me, and it gets confusing. So, I learned to just not think about it.” Natalie says.

“Question 25: “Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …” Jase asks.

“We are both feeling scared. We both are wondering what we’re going to respond to the next questions, and I think we are both wondering if we are going to see each other again after this.”

“We both are in this room feeling nervous and maybe even a little happy. We feel a little anxious and maybe even a little sad. Like we could rewind and start all over. It could be 2007 again. We are both in this room realizing the fact that we’d be celebrating our ten year anniversary this year. My how old that makes me feel.” Jase responds with a sigh.

“Question 26: Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …” Natalie asks, looking up at Jase, curious at what his answer would be.

“I am utterly terrified of what might become of me.”

“Someone who I can share what it felt like that night I tried to kill myself. Someone who would understand.” Natalie replies.

“I wish I knew that.” Jase responds, looking down at the paper, avoiding eye contact. “If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.”

“The truth still scares me. The truth about my past life.”

“I should be called out on when I am not listening. When things get heated, I stop caring what the other person is saying, and it shouldn’t be like that.”

“Question 28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.”

“I like that you don’t let other people’s opinions about you get to your head.”

“I like that you are so observant you can tell me what I had for breakfast the first time we moved in together. You can read my feelings better than myself.” Natalie replies.

Jase looks down at his paper. “Question 29: Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.” 

“When I thought that coming to your house with the 36 questions would solve all of our problems. That was pretty high up there on the embarrassment chart.” Natalie replies. 

“When Cooper caught his mother and I fighting. I guess that was more shameful though.” 

“When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?” Natalie asks.

“The last time I cried, was last night. Cooper did not want to go to bed last night, and once he was finally asleep, I cried because I wanted someone to express my grown up feelings to, not just a little boy. The last time I cried in front of another person was watching the end of Frozen with him. Anna and Elsa will always get me.” Jason responds with a laugh.

“The last time I cried in front of someone else? That would have to have been my creepy neighbor, when I was on my way home from our first meeting. All those memories cam rushing to me, and I tried to pull myself together during the walk from my car to my apartment, but my neighbor may have saw a tear or two slip. I think that counts for both, because when I got home, I relived our years together.” Natalie says softly.

“Tell your partner something that you like about them already.” Jase asks.

“I always like the way you bite your lip when you’re deep in thought.”

“I like the way you can make a joke out of literally everything. I guess that comes with practice though.” Jase responds.

“Funny you might say that. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?” Natalie asks.

“Child-loss, specifically miscarriage. Many of my friends, even my brother had to go through it with a surrogate, and it’s terrible.”

“Heartbreak.” Natalie says, looking Jase directly in the eyes before moving on to the next question. “If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?”

“I love you. To everyone I have ever loved; including you.” Jase says, reaching out to grasp Natalie’s hand and giving it a squeeze.

“That divorce, even though it was simple, it ripped my soul in two.” Natalie responds with tears in her eyes. “I try to live my life without regrets now, but I would tell you that there was not a day that went by without me wondering what would happen if I tracked you down again, but I knew it would probably break us apart forever.”

“Question 34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?” Jase asks, his voice quivering.

“Still that journal that I’ve had since I was little. It has all my deepest, darkest secrets.”

“This phone. The record. There is so much emotion in it, I wouldn’t bare to loose it. Funny, since I hated it all those years ago.” Jase response, chuckling. 

“Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?” Natalie asks.

“Well, it will still be Cooper. I don’t want to think about ever losing him.”

“Yours. There are so many things I would tell you if I thought that you would listen and so many more that you would tell me if you believed I would understand. And I hope that one day you will.” Natalie replies.

“Question 36:  Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.” Jase asks.

“How am I supposed to face tomorrow after all those years I could have had with you? If you didn’t ever find out about Judith?” Natalie asks.

“You take it day by day, hour by hour, until you find reasons to keep living. At least, that’s what worked for me.” Jase replies, a tear slipping down his face. He sighs then asks, “How am I to let you go?”

“My Jase, that’s a tough one.” Natalie sniffs. “How about you try to let me in?”

They both look at each other for a moment before Natalie clears her throat and says, “Now for the fun part. Ready to stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes?”

“Whenever you are.” Jase responds as Natalie gets out her phone to start the timer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still writing you may ask? Of course! It just got slower due to school, and I am finally picking it back up again!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please comment your feelings on the podcast or my writing!


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